Five year-old self

I've often thought that if you looked back at your five year-old self you would find all the answers that you're looking for.

A few years ago I taught a beautiful little boy for two years. He was quiet and not particularly social at three and a half. I have since come to understand that even quiet children become much more social between four and five, and so it is almost never necessary to be concerned about this before four years of age.

I was often advised to be concerned about this child because he was solitary, timid, and found it difficult to bond with adults at that time. I knew that his home life had been difficult. To me this was enough of a reason to justify his behaviours. I think it's so important to respond to emotional issues before looking for developmental ones.

I felt that this child was in desperate need of unconditional acceptance. I've never met a child I couldn't bond with so that was the easy part. His mum and I also bonded. She was in desperate need of unconditional acceptance too. She believed that her child was perfect and I believed that he was perfect, and that's how we approached everything.

I'm a big believer in physical contact with young children, but not all personalities like that or need that from you. Children's body language is clear on this, and should be respected. I bonded with this child by taking an interest in the things that he was interested in. When I had time I would sit on the a-frame next to him and he would tell me about the pick-up trucks, and the container trucks and the forklifts next door. To this day I wouldn't have known the difference between them if he hadn't explained it to me.

I often borrowed books from the library for the children. I would borrow books about trucks and tell him (on the quiet) that I borrowed them especially for him. Every child needs to feel that they have been picked out of the crowd, and I do my absolute best to find a way to do this for every child. Parents love to know that you've taken special care as well.

This little boy spent most of the second year constructing with Lego with his new best friend. The social motivation had come with age, and because by then he had learned to trust people. People questioned whether I should allow him to spend so much time on one interest and with one child. His constructions were impressive, and he was relaxed and happy. I went with my instinct and allowed him to make his own choices.

It's impossible (as an educator) not to question your decisions. You can never really know the end result. Fortunately, as his younger brother continued in care, I was able to follow up on his progress. His mum's feedback was consistent over the next couple of years. He was doing well at school, he was happy, and he had friends. I was so happy to hear this.

She also said that when he was not at school he would watch YouTube videos of complex Lego constructions and replicate them by himself. Imagine if we had stopped him from engaging with what he was most passionate about. How would this have affected his already fragile confidence? Imagine if we had not seen this child's uniqueness as strength. How much stress might this have caused his family? This stress would have rubbed off on him too.

I hope you will always look for the strengths in a person before you look any further. Unconditional acceptance can work wonders. I wonder what incredible things this little boy will grow up to accomplish. I wonder if he will look back at his five year-old self and find the answers. They were always there.

I have a dream

It feels like young children are being pushed, prodded and even punished based on their preschool experiences.

I didn't stand out as a brilliant student. I was above average but I always thought my sisters were smarter than me. I went through public schools all the way. I didn't always have the best teachers. I was never pushed or prodded. I spent most of my time outside of school hours doing whatever I wanted. I was asked to do my best and I did, because it came naturally to me to want to please people by doing as I was told. I averaged about fifteen minutes of homework per night during high-school.

I talked early because my parents talked to me and sang to me. Reading came easily because my parents read to me. The motivation to learn to read came from seeing my parents reading. Relationships and travel took priority over financial security. Through osmosis I learned how to think, rather than what to think.

Knowing that I could make decisions about my learning gave me the motivation to persist with the things that I felt were valuable. Nobody told me to continue to do piano exams to grade eight level, to do a Bachelor of Education in three and a half years instead of four, to do my masters while working full-time, my research project while working two jobs, or to spend the last two years working at being the best classical singer I could be. This comes from experiencing the value of learning, having confidence in yourself as a learner, understanding your own strengths and way of working, and realizing that persistence is more important than being perfect.

Language and literacy are the foundation of children's school-based education. Typically-developing children are capable of acquiring all the skills that they need as long as what we expect from them is in line with their developmental level. All the research is there and we know why children are struggling. This is not a judgement on families, but is a fact often spoken of by teachers and academics. There are parents who don't talk to their babies enough. That crucial first five years is when language develops. Children need to hear adults talk, and as much as possible. There are parents who don't read to their children. Children don't see their parents reading so they don't understand the value of reading, and so their motivation to learn to read suffers.

So what do we do with these children? We put them into prep and sit them beside children like, well..me. We give them group instruction and worksheets so that they can learn phonics and sight words. They fall behind, they get lost, and they lose their confidence in themselves as learners. My Dad works one-on-one with children who are still struggling with reading at ten years old. They never got it (like me with algebra). We failed to address the gap that came before. We rushed them rather than trusting that they were born learners. You only have to trawl through the early childhood forums to see that this is breaking the hearts of teachers and educators all over the country.

This is my dream. I dream that we will welcome children into prep without any expectations whatsoever. I dream that every bit of time that we expect children to focus and concentrate during prep will be used for reading. I dream that we will come together as a community to support our children, that schools will recruit all the parents, grandparents and volunteers that they can find so that children in prep can have the most one-on-one attention possible. I would have classrooms full of books that children could borrow and bring home to share with their families. I would have volunteers reading to children in small groups, on couches, on the floor, in the library, under trees, wherever they were happiest.

English is not a particularly phonetic language so children learn to recognize words mostly through memorizing them, as they do with spoken language. I would have the volunteers pointing to the words as they read and emphasising the sounds, as we do in kindergarten. I would not ask any child to read and I would not test any child on any aspect of literacy for the entire year. The aim would be to bridge the gap, build children's confidence, and develop in them the joy of escaping into the known and imaginary worlds that books can provide. I would aim to have all children hooked on books before they begin formal learning.

I would have the rest of the day consist of free and guided play. Children need this for well-being. Without physical, emotional, social and spiritual well-being, children won't be able to successfully learn. I would have teachers available to answer questions, make suggestions, and act as examples of how to solve problems, make calculated decisions, how to wonder, how to hypothesise, how to think, and how to express their thinking (as we do in kindergarten).

Children are learning that education is difficult, a chore, something really hard that they look forward to escaping from. It doesn't have to be. This belief is likely to stand in their way of pursuing higher education. They will fear failure, they will fear being compared. Learning shouldn't be about fear. Learning is natural, it is part of why we are here on earth, it is the motivation that keeps us going throughout life. Most of it happens outside of the classroom, it is lifelong, it is an internally-driven process, it is a source of joy. Imagine how it would feel knowing that our children could experience this for themselves, with joy and without fear.